A Joke for Today

[rhinowhite]

"Do you think it's too soon to ask Whoopi Goldberg if Patrick Swayze has been in touch? " Lol.

[jaybee]

An altar boy is in the confessional booth:-
‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say .'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

[andy]

http://kanyelicio.us/http//www.fmuk.org.uk/forum!


and a joke too -

The wife has just left me and taken my entire collection of Bob Marley CD's and the satellite dish with her.



No Woman no sky.

[andrews]

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

[andrews]

[andrews]

Five of the Shortest Books Ever Written

1.Arctic Water Polo
2.Bedouin Olympic Swimmers
3.One-Legged Folk Dances
4.Advanced Subtraction
5.The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables



Any more??

[steve9872]

Not a exactly joke but a true story, may take an hour to read fully and the link to following pages is at the bottom of each page. The joke is the banks behaviour especially in the current climate.

http://www.goodthink.com/writing/view_s ... &page_id=2

[rainey_y2k]

do you know why pirates are called pirates?










CUZ THEY AAAARGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

[BettyBoop]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two ' working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend shouting out cries of 'Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE .... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE.... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ... UGH!' ... ALL NIGHT LONG.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, 'How did it go?' The first mutters, 'It was
Embarrassing.. I just couldn't get an erection.'



The second dwarf shook his head. 'You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't get on the bed.'

[a_person]

LOL.