Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

[scootermcc]

What a disappointment, absolutely incomprehensible story, no chemistry between any of the cast, has to go down as one of the worst films of the year so far.

To make matters worse saw it in 4DX at my local Cineworld. Why would anyone p*y extra money for that? it's nothing but a diistraction and adds nothing to the film. It's like p*ying extra for someone to sit behind you and kick your seat for 2 hours.

2/10

[EthanRunt]

I loved this film.
Luc Besson in full madness mode, visually gorgeous and with lots of fun in the adventures within the film.
Dane DeHaan is miscast as a rogueish space secret agent ladies man, but Cara Delevigne is superb as his counterpart, whilst Clive Owen and Ethan Hawke really chew some scenery in their small roles.
Utter bobbins in the most enjoyable way.

[McG]

Now that is 2 completely different views of the film . . .interesting to see what other folk think!

[CtheG84]

Got myself a ticket yesterday with high hopes, Luc Besson is a great visionary however YES the visuals are stunning and great cinematography but the story is as thin as a cereal box, with a ridiculously unrelatable cast who couldn't act their way out of said box. Worst movie I have seen of 2017, reminded me of the flop that waa John Carter a few years back.

[RandomHajile]

saw this in westfield yesterday and goodness me its the worst acting ive seen in decades...

how the hell did they get away with this, spending 200million...

yes it looks good but the dialog delivery is a joke.

the opening scene with the two government agents is hilarious

i nearly clapped at the end of its 2h17min run time !!

0/10

[tonethestone]

0/5, not wasting anymore time writing about this waste of space.

[The Sparrow]

Let's start on a positive note. The film is stunning to look at. The colours are vivid and the worlds are imaginative. I chose wisely by watching it in 3D.
But... This is not a good film, sadly.
As the film started I realised I hadn't got my 3D specs on so as it started I was rummaging in my bag. I spotted Rutger Hauer's name in the opening credits. Yay thought I. Unfortunately he has a blink and you'll miss him cameo and I did!
I'm a big fan of Dane DeHaan but he is woefully miscast and there is zero connection between him and Cara Delevingne. As a couple, there is no spark between them. The dialogue is flat and clunky and often plain old awkward. I think some of it is meant to be ironic/sarcastic/banter but the delivery doesn't reflect that. Even Clive Owen gives a lacklustre performance.
I'll admit to not having read the source material but I doubt this film does it justice.
I have no idea if the story is true to the graphic novels either but I would hope the comics are better than this overly long mess.
I had hoped that the negative reviews were wrong but sadly they weren't.

[sfancy]

I have mixed feelings about this-but it's not something i would ever want to see again.

[kevinknapman]

A pretty enjoyable sci-fi adventure that takes an 'everything and the kitchen sink' approach to its story and special effects, stuffing the film with plenty of creatures, gadgets and MacGuffins whilst moving along at a frantic enough pace to take your attention away from any possible plot holes.
It is also very much a film from the same director as The Fifth Element. Your enjoyment of this will very much depend on how you feel about that statement.

Dane DeHaan, usually perfectly cast as a quirky outsider, is slightly miscast here as the wise-cracking, maverick but noble hero but does his best. Whilst the much-maligned Cara Delevingne is actually very good as the co-lead. Ironically for a film where only the male lead's name appears in the title (unlike the original comics Valerian and Laureline), much is made of her character's desire to be considered an equal. I doubt the irony is intentional.
Clive Owen and Sam Spruell are fine in supporting roles, while Ethan Hawke is clearly having a blast in an over the top cameo as a flamboyant pimp.
Even Rihanna is perfectly acceptable as a shape-shifting glam bot, despite the majority of her appearance involving a rather drawn out exotic dance.
Other notable cameos include Rutger Hauer, Herbie Hancock, John Goodman and French directors and previous Besson collaborators Louis Leterrier, Olivier Megaton & Mathieu Kassovitz. See, even the casting is indulgent.

On the whole the film seems forever on the brink of collapsing into an impenetrable mess but just about keeps things on track by virtue of rarely slowing down, despite only losing some steam towards the end.
It's arguable that the film tries to do too much and not everything works, but a film overflowing with ideas is better than one with none.
It's fair to say you'll probably not see something that manages to be both as extravagantly budgeted and idiosyncratically weird as this that often which makes this worth a look for that alone at least.

[midian]

Saw this today and was very disappointed. great visuals (with a very wonderful opening scene), a few interesting quirky characters such as the triad of informants and ideas such as a multidimesional market experienced through a sort of VR interface, but over all the story is just a bit of a mess. the leads look so young it was just impossible for me to take it seriously. they are more like a YA film siblings rather than experienced supersoldiers who have sexual chemistry. Bad casting made worse by dull acting and poor script bit of an extravagant failure. 3/10.