A Joke for Today

[anakin]

What did the blonde ask Santa Claus for Christmas?

Five golden dings, four calling nerds, three French men, two purple gloves, and a bar fridge and a party.

[andrews]

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
- Cora Harvey Armstrong-

[andrews]

[andrews]

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted.

It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to p*y his debt to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to p*y his debt to the pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to p*y his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to p*y his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to p*y for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today.

[Cortone]

Just the US government, andrews???

[Cortone]

“What’s the difference between gritting lorries and Elvis?”


scroll down....









“There have been sightings of Elvis recently.”

[PeteYork]

Not really a joke, but the subtitles have been revised to show what Hitler actually said in the bunker in Downfall (Well... allegedly!! )

Snowfall - Downfall Parody

My conversational German classes didn't quite extend to the 'military' language found here!

[andrews]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to p*rchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to b*y the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to b*y it.
The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After p*ying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've b*ght a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.
Well, after p*ying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'

[prettyxcool]

Thanks andrews - love the joke. Good one!

[jmd1983]

Hahahahaha that's so funny!