A Joke for Today

[Kaybeelon]

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about £50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money..

"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50 and handed it to her along with a £10 tip.



"Thank you," the blonde said, "and, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

[Beate]

I am hooting with laughter here:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/sho ... ?t=3433921

[evilzadi]

I am hooting with laughter here:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/sho ... ?t=3433921

God help him if he's serious

[Kaybeelon]

I am hooting with laughter here:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/sho ... ?t=3433921

God help him if he's serious

Do you think he is serious?

[Sunny Saver]

Just saw this on someone's Facebook wall:

'I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi ! how are you?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here!". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, i will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions".'

[evilzadi]

I am hooting with laughter here:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/sho ... ?t=3433921

God help him if he's serious

Do you think he is serious?

You never know these days

[evilzadi]

Just saw this on someone's Facebook wall:

'I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi ! how are you?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here!". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, i will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions".'

I would have loved to see their reaction once they both came out of the cubicles.

[evilzadi]

On day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven.

God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven.

So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed.

The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed.

But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke.

God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet"

The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"

[Sunny Saver]

Just saw this on someone's Facebook wall:

'I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi ! how are you?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here!". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, i will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions".'

I would have loved to see their reaction once they both came out of the cubicles.

If I was the facebook lady I would have waited for a long long time before coming out!

[Rainey]

A man has gone to A&E after a bizarre sex game went wrong leaving him with 6 toy horses stuck up his behind. Doctors have described his condition as stable