A Joke for Today

Chat about anything
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
McG
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 8986
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:18 pm
Old post count: 0
Preferred Cinemas: Paisley, Braehead, Glasgow Odeon & Cineworld
Location: Paisley

Re: A Joke for Today

#481 Post by McG » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:07 pm

So much of that would be true if some people had there way, ez! Very good!
Preferred cinemas: Best: Glasgow Quay, Glasgow Braehead, Glasgow Renfield Street, Glasgow Fort & Paisley
Others I'd go to: Glasgow Showcase Baillieston


Films already booked for:

Hope to get tickets for: Every film if they come to my preferred cinemas

Member of the 100 Free Films of 2019.
Aim will again be 150. 54 seen: 96 to go.

Member no.9 again for the 100 Free Films of 2018.
My aim will be 150. 143 seen, 07 to go.

Member No. 9 again for the 100 Free Films in 2017. 156 seen, 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2016: 135 seen 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2015: 72 28 to go
Member no. 9 of the 100 Free Films in 2014; 85 seen 15 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 Free Films in 2013" ; 89 seen 11 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 free films in 2012" club. 86 seen 14 short of 100!

User avatar
evilzadi
Se7en
Se7en
Posts: 3801
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2010 7:39 pm
Old post count: 0
Preferred Cinemas: Greenwich, Wimbledon, Leicester Sqr

Re: A Joke for Today

#482 Post by evilzadi » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:07 pm

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?
[spoiler]Freeze a jolly good fellow[/spoiler]
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Sponsor me HERE

:popcorn: <:D Member No. 32 of the "100 free films in 2014" club <:D :popcorn:
Target: 35, Seen so far: 3 Scores

28 seen in 2013
31 seen in 2012

Image

User avatar
McG
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 8986
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:18 pm
Old post count: 0
Preferred Cinemas: Paisley, Braehead, Glasgow Odeon & Cineworld
Location: Paisley

Re: A Joke for Today

#483 Post by McG » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:31 pm

What’s white and goes up?
[spoiler]A confused snowflake![/spoiler]

What do you call an old snowman?
[spoiler]Water![/spoiler]
Preferred cinemas: Best: Glasgow Quay, Glasgow Braehead, Glasgow Renfield Street, Glasgow Fort & Paisley
Others I'd go to: Glasgow Showcase Baillieston


Films already booked for:

Hope to get tickets for: Every film if they come to my preferred cinemas

Member of the 100 Free Films of 2019.
Aim will again be 150. 54 seen: 96 to go.

Member no.9 again for the 100 Free Films of 2018.
My aim will be 150. 143 seen, 07 to go.

Member No. 9 again for the 100 Free Films in 2017. 156 seen, 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2016: 135 seen 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2015: 72 28 to go
Member no. 9 of the 100 Free Films in 2014; 85 seen 15 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 Free Films in 2013" ; 89 seen 11 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 free films in 2012" club. 86 seen 14 short of 100!

User avatar
evilzadi
Se7en
Se7en
Posts: 3801
Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2010 7:39 pm
Old post count: 0
Preferred Cinemas: Greenwich, Wimbledon, Leicester Sqr

Re: A Joke for Today

#484 Post by evilzadi » Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:54 pm

I like this one :D

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
[spoiler]Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve[/spoiler]
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Sponsor me HERE

:popcorn: <:D Member No. 32 of the "100 free films in 2014" club <:D :popcorn:
Target: 35, Seen so far: 3 Scores

28 seen in 2013
31 seen in 2012

Image

andrews
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 5628
Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:36 pm
Old post count: 1939
Preferred Cinemas: In order of preference: MetroCentre-Gateshead, Boldon, Gateshead Trinity Square, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, and Tyneside Cinema
Location: Durham

Re: A Joke for Today

#485 Post by andrews » Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:37 am

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

Because he can hoe, hoe, hoe! :xmas:
Member Number 3 of the "100 Free Films in 2018 Club"


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

andrews
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 5628
Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:36 pm
Old post count: 1939
Preferred Cinemas: In order of preference: MetroCentre-Gateshead, Boldon, Gateshead Trinity Square, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, and Tyneside Cinema
Location: Durham

Re: A Joke for Today

#486 Post by andrews » Mon Dec 12, 2011 7:46 am

Image
Member Number 3 of the "100 Free Films in 2018 Club"


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

andrews
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 5628
Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:36 pm
Old post count: 1939
Preferred Cinemas: In order of preference: MetroCentre-Gateshead, Boldon, Gateshead Trinity Square, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, and Tyneside Cinema
Location: Durham

Re: A Joke for Today

#487 Post by andrews » Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:56 pm

What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She'd go to a "re-tail" shop for a new one! :xmas:
Member Number 3 of the "100 Free Films in 2018 Club"


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

andrews
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 5628
Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:36 pm
Old post count: 1939
Preferred Cinemas: In order of preference: MetroCentre-Gateshead, Boldon, Gateshead Trinity Square, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, and Tyneside Cinema
Location: Durham

Re: A Joke for Today

#488 Post by andrews » Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:56 pm

What do you call a reindeer with ear muffs?

Anything you want - he can't hear you! :xmas:
Member Number 3 of the "100 Free Films in 2018 Club"


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

andrews
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 5628
Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:36 pm
Old post count: 1939
Preferred Cinemas: In order of preference: MetroCentre-Gateshead, Boldon, Gateshead Trinity Square, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, and Tyneside Cinema
Location: Durham

Re: A Joke for Today

#489 Post by andrews » Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:58 pm

You do know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of men, don't you? They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought disposable diapers as gifts!

:xmas:
Member Number 3 of the "100 Free Films in 2018 Club"


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

andrews
8 1/2
8 1/2
Posts: 5628
Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 4:36 pm
Old post count: 1939
Preferred Cinemas: In order of preference: MetroCentre-Gateshead, Boldon, Gateshead Trinity Square, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, and Tyneside Cinema
Location: Durham

Re: A Joke for Today

#490 Post by andrews » Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:59 pm

The three stages of life:

1) You believe in Santa Claus
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus

:xmas:
Member Number 3 of the "100 Free Films in 2018 Club"


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

Post Reply