A Joke for Today
- McG
- 8 1/2

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Re: A Joke for Today
I have to say, some of these jokes are funny! Well done everyone!

Preferred cinemas: Best: Glasgow Quay, Glasgow Braehead, Glasgow Renfield Street, Glasgow Fort & Paisley
Others I'd go to: Glasgow Showcase Baillieston
Films already booked for:
Hope to get tickets for: Every film if they come to my preferred cinemas
Member of the 100 Free Films of 2019.
Aim will again be 150. 54 seen: 96 to go.
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My aim will be 150. 143 seen, 07 to go.
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Member No. 9 of the "100 Free Films in 2013" ; 89 seen 11 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 free films in 2012" club. 86 seen 14 short of 100!
Others I'd go to: Glasgow Showcase Baillieston
Films already booked for:
Hope to get tickets for: Every film if they come to my preferred cinemas
Member of the 100 Free Films of 2019.
Aim will again be 150. 54 seen: 96 to go.
Member no.9 again for the 100 Free Films of 2018.
My aim will be 150. 143 seen, 07 to go.
Member No. 9 again for the 100 Free Films in 2017. 156 seen, 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2016: 135 seen 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2015: 72 28 to go
Member no. 9 of the 100 Free Films in 2014; 85 seen 15 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 Free Films in 2013" ; 89 seen 11 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 free films in 2012" club. 86 seen 14 short of 100!
- anakin
- Se7en

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Re: A Joke for Today
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
[spoiler]A mince spy.[/spoiler]
Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
[spoiler]He's a fun guy to be with.[/spoiler]
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
[spoiler]He had low elf-esteem.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]A mince spy.[/spoiler]
Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
[spoiler]He's a fun guy to be with.[/spoiler]
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
[spoiler]He had low elf-esteem.[/spoiler]
"Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things." - Legally Blonde
Preferred cinemas: Most Central London, Finchley Road, Swiss Cottage, Islington, Holloway and West India Quay, Greenwich (O2 / Odeon only) or Stratford City if there is nothing else!
Seen free in 2012: Jan: Margin Call; J. Edgar; Like Crazy; Carnage; Young Adult. Feb: The Muppets; The Best Extotic Marigold Hotel; Safe House; Project X; Beginners. March: 21 Jump Street; We b*ght a Zoo; Wild Bill; John Carter; Wanderlust; Street Dance 2;The Hunger Games; [The King's Speech]. Apr: The Hunger Games; Battleship; Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. May: What To Expect When You're Expecting; MIB3. June: [We Will Rock You] July: Ted; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World; The Dark Knight Rises; Brave. Aug: The Bourne Legacy. Sept: Lawless
Preferred cinemas: Most Central London, Finchley Road, Swiss Cottage, Islington, Holloway and West India Quay, Greenwich (O2 / Odeon only) or Stratford City if there is nothing else!
Seen free in 2012: Jan: Margin Call; J. Edgar; Like Crazy; Carnage; Young Adult. Feb: The Muppets; The Best Extotic Marigold Hotel; Safe House; Project X; Beginners. March: 21 Jump Street; We b*ght a Zoo; Wild Bill; John Carter; Wanderlust; Street Dance 2;The Hunger Games; [The King's Speech]. Apr: The Hunger Games; Battleship; Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. May: What To Expect When You're Expecting; MIB3. June: [We Will Rock You] July: Ted; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World; The Dark Knight Rises; Brave. Aug: The Bourne Legacy. Sept: Lawless
- canadian_turtle
- 9 1/2 Weeks

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Re: A Joke for Today
Some of these jokes? So basically what you're saying is that the majority isn't funny at all?MGellatly wrote:I have to say, some of these jokes are funny! Well done everyone!![]()
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• Cinemas in order of preference: West End/Central London, Wood Green, Islington, Finchley Road
• (32/2014, 81/2013, 95/2012, 76/2011)
- biggins
- Se7en

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Re: A Joke for Today
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Frostbite.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2020" club 1 seen 99 to go.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
- TheyCallMeMrGlass
- Se7en

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Re: A Joke for Today
Ooo ooo I got one
Why did the Reindeer cross the road..no no, that's not it wait...ok I got it
Why did the Elf cross the road...no wait, it wasnt a road
um...I'll come back, looks like I qualified MG's last post...need to work on this
Why did the Reindeer cross the road..no no, that's not it wait...ok I got it
Why did the Elf cross the road...no wait, it wasnt a road
um...I'll come back, looks like I qualified MG's last post...need to work on this
My film reviews here . ......My FMUK 2014 ratings.......My FMUK 2011 ratings.......My FMUK 2013 ratings . ......My FMUK 2012 ratings .
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Do you have a VR headset? If so, maybe we can play a physical sports game or even be sports/fitness partners, hit me up if you keen.
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- McG
- 8 1/2

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Re: A Joke for Today
TheyCallMeMrGlass wrote:Ooo ooo I got one
Why did the Reindeer cross the road..no no, that's not it wait...ok I got it
Why did the Elf cross the road...no wait, it wasnt a road
um...I'll come back, looks like I qualified MG's last post...need to work on this
Preferred cinemas: Best: Glasgow Quay, Glasgow Braehead, Glasgow Renfield Street, Glasgow Fort & Paisley
Others I'd go to: Glasgow Showcase Baillieston
Films already booked for:
Hope to get tickets for: Every film if they come to my preferred cinemas
Member of the 100 Free Films of 2019.
Aim will again be 150. 54 seen: 96 to go.
Member no.9 again for the 100 Free Films of 2018.
My aim will be 150. 143 seen, 07 to go.
Member No. 9 again for the 100 Free Films in 2017. 156 seen, 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2016: 135 seen 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2015: 72 28 to go
Member no. 9 of the 100 Free Films in 2014; 85 seen 15 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 Free Films in 2013" ; 89 seen 11 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 free films in 2012" club. 86 seen 14 short of 100!
Others I'd go to: Glasgow Showcase Baillieston
Films already booked for:
Hope to get tickets for: Every film if they come to my preferred cinemas
Member of the 100 Free Films of 2019.
Aim will again be 150. 54 seen: 96 to go.
Member no.9 again for the 100 Free Films of 2018.
My aim will be 150. 143 seen, 07 to go.
Member No. 9 again for the 100 Free Films in 2017. 156 seen, 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2016: 135 seen 0 to go
Member no.9 of the 100 Free Films in 2015: 72 28 to go
Member no. 9 of the 100 Free Films in 2014; 85 seen 15 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 Free Films in 2013" ; 89 seen 11 to go!
Member No. 9 of the "100 free films in 2012" club. 86 seen 14 short of 100!
- claire
- The Sixth Sense

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Re: A Joke for Today
What is white, lives at the north pole and runs around naked?
[spoiler]a Polar bare[/spoiler]
Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.
[spoiler]a Polar bare[/spoiler]
Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.
Member 58 of the "100 free films in 2013" club
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member No.58 of the "100 free films in 2012" club
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Member No. 64 of the "100 free films in 2011" club.
- claire
- The Sixth Sense

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Re: A Joke for Today
'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because two 'Eds are better than one, of course!'
'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.
'Because two 'Eds are better than one, of course!'
Member 58 of the "100 free films in 2013" club
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member No.58 of the "100 free films in 2012" club
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Member No. 64 of the "100 free films in 2011" club.
64seen 36 to go
member No.58 of the "100 free films in 2012" club
57 seen
Member No. 64 of the "100 free films in 2011" club.
- TheyCallMeMrGlass
- Se7en

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Re: A Joke for Today
Wagga wagga here we go:
Why did Santa have to confess his sins?
[spoiler]Because Rudolph reddy nose.[/spoiler]
Why did Santa have to confess his sins?
[spoiler]Because Rudolph reddy nose.[/spoiler]
My film reviews here . ......My FMUK 2014 ratings.......My FMUK 2011 ratings.......My FMUK 2013 ratings . ......My FMUK 2012 ratings .
Do you have a VR headset? If so, maybe we can play a physical sports game or even be sports/fitness partners, hit me up if you keen.
PSN: TheyCallMeTej, Oculus: TheyCallMeTJ
Do you have a VR headset? If so, maybe we can play a physical sports game or even be sports/fitness partners, hit me up if you keen.
PSN: TheyCallMeTej, Oculus: TheyCallMeTJ
- claire
- The Sixth Sense

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Re: A Joke for Today
What does Father Christmas call that three-legged reindeer?
[spoiler]Eileen[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Eileen[/spoiler]
Member 58 of the "100 free films in 2013" club
64seen 36 to go
member No.58 of the "100 free films in 2012" club
57 seen
Member No. 64 of the "100 free films in 2011" club.
64seen 36 to go
member No.58 of the "100 free films in 2012" club
57 seen
Member No. 64 of the "100 free films in 2011" club.