A Joke for Today
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greece
Re: A Joke for Today
BREAKING NEWS: The Pope is to leave Vatican City and join Vatican United
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biggins
- Se7en
- Posts: 2252
- Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:20 pm
- Old post count: 66
- Preferred Cinemas: Any in Edinburgh
- Location: Edinburgh -66 posts on old site
Re: A Joke for Today
Tesco are giving double clubcard points on burgers and petrol starting this weekend.
The deal is called "Only Fuel and Horses"
The deal is called "Only Fuel and Horses"
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2020" club 1 seen 99 to go.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
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biggins
- Se7en
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- Location: Edinburgh -66 posts on old site
Re: A Joke for Today
Gynaecological Visit
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynaecologist.
"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me."
"This one's kind of strange," the woman said.
"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.
"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down, the water was full of pennies."
"I see," commented the doctor calmly.
"That afternoon, I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were 5p pieces in the bowl," the woman continued.
"That night," she went on, "I went again, and plink-plink-plink, there were 50p's. This morning, there were £1 coins!"
"You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!" she implored. "I'm scared out of my wits!"
The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about," he said.
"You're simply going through the change!"
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynaecologist.
"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me."
"This one's kind of strange," the woman said.
"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.
"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down, the water was full of pennies."
"I see," commented the doctor calmly.
"That afternoon, I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were 5p pieces in the bowl," the woman continued.
"That night," she went on, "I went again, and plink-plink-plink, there were 50p's. This morning, there were £1 coins!"
"You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!" she implored. "I'm scared out of my wits!"
The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there, it's nothing to be scared about," he said.
"You're simply going through the change!"
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2020" club 1 seen 99 to go.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
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Spyder_Webb
- You Only Live Twice
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- Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 9:25 am
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Re: A Joke for Today
Those Aldi horse burgers are actually quite nice. But I prefer My Lidl pony.
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biggins
- Se7en
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- Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:20 pm
- Old post count: 66
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- Location: Edinburgh -66 posts on old site
Re: A Joke for Today
Tesco burgers, are low in fat, but high in Shergar!!
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2020" club 1 seen 99 to go.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
Member No. 23 of the "100 free films in 2019" club 10 seen .
Member no. 23 of the "100 free film Club" 57 seen 2010.
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Spyder_Webb
- You Only Live Twice
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- Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 9:25 am
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Re: A Joke for Today
Roses are red, Apples are fruity, As for lasagne, It could be Black Beauty!
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martadelas
- Phase IV
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- Location: London
Re: A Joke for Today
That is so wrong. But I did let out a burst of laughter :)Spyder_Webb wrote:Roses are red, Apples are fruity, As for lasagne, It could be Black Beauty!
Tomorrow Is a Latter Day
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Spyder_Webb
- You Only Live Twice
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Re: A Joke for Today
Oscar Pistorius' case is looking very shaky. Personally, I don't think he's got a leg to stand on.
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eumenides
- The Sixth Sense
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- Location: Gangland Dorset
Re: A Joke for Today
This is ridiculous! The FBI and the CIA are after me for computer hacking!
According to their database...
According to their database...
Member No. 6 of the "100 free films in 2016" club. 3 seen
Member No. 6 of the "100 free films in 2015" club. 14 seen
Member No. 6 of the "100 free films in 2014" club. 21 seen
Member No. 6 of the "100 free films in 2013" club. 49 seen
Member No. 6 of the "100 free films in 2015" club. 14 seen
Member No. 6 of the "100 free films in 2014" club. 21 seen
Member No. 6 of the "100 free films in 2013" club. 49 seen
Spoiler
Show
Preferred cinemas: Bournemouth, Southampton, Poole *Occ London and Kent
*Greenwich, Bluewater, Rochester, Maidstone, Chatham
Have tickets for:
Looking for: Anything else
*Greenwich, Bluewater, Rochester, Maidstone, Chatham
Have tickets for:
Looking for: Anything else
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greece
Re: A Joke for Today
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were
drunk so he started the engine &
turned it off again.
He told them."We have reached ".
The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy... gave the driver a slap!!
The driver was shocked,thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did.
But he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us"!!!!
The taxi driver knew that they were
drunk so he started the engine &
turned it off again.
He told them."We have reached ".
The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy... gave the driver a slap!!
The driver was shocked,thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did.
But he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us"!!!!